Friday, April 1, 2016

A is for Absent

Over a year. That's how long I've let this blog float in the cyberspace without an anchor of words. And that's what happens when you get out of practice writing your blog. You try to throw anchors into cyberspace. Surely that would cause some kind of malfunction. Who knows?

Adele's "Hello" is echoing through my mind as my 15-minute timer (the amount of time I've given myself to write this post) runs down. Like the song, I'm trying to make amends; I'm trying to decide how to explain my absence from someone I let down. Not the Blog itself. Not my reader (readers, if both my sister AND my mom had followed at some point). I must explain the absence to myself.

That's not so hard. I AM the Excuse Editor, after all. I always have a handy excuse for not following through on writing projects. Yes, I was (slowly) working on my book. Yes, in the midst of that, emotions, beliefs, and negative thoughts created the perfect storm of indecision and writer's block that all writing came to a standstill. The mess that storm created seemed to take a life of its own and I stepped away slowly, careful not to let myself get caught up in it. "Leave it alone," I thought, "It will work itself out somehow."

I didn't want to give up on my creativity altogether, though. While the writing part was off in rehab, I attempted another creative endeavor, one that scared me even more than writing: Improv comedy. I needed some lightness. I wanted to laugh. I wanted to learn how to make other people laugh.

As I started practicing for Improv, I realized other aspects of my creative life it could help with: Spontaneity and Lightness. One of my favorite writing quotes is "Don't think. Just write." Somehow, I forgot this advice. I started believing that whatever I got down on the page was solid and immovable, and if I put it down in the wrong place it would get in the way of something else, like a T-Rex statue in the middle of a busy intersection.

Improv reminded me to just let it out; don't edit yourself. You, the audience, and the world WILL MOVE ON no matter what craziness you just uttered. Don't take it all so seriously.

So, that's what I'm trying to do. My time was up a few minutes ago, and I'm going to post this without editing (GASP!). Because, on a whim yesterday, I decided to join the Blogging from A to Z Challenge after reading that my friend Nicole was doing it on her  blog. Thanks, Nicole.

See you tomorrow.

Tina

7 comments:

  1. Not to overshare on a first visit, but there is a tremendous amount here I can identify with from the absenteeism to the overthinking. And I am utterly in awe of the foray into Improv.

    I have been blogging--sometimes sporadically and sometimes daily--for almost eleven years. I also have been writing for most of my life--but never as much or as often as I would like and when I do have time to get things down, I hampered by a demonic inner critic/editor. So, yes, definitely lots that resonates with me in this post.

    Nice to meet another A-Z challenger. :)

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    1. I've been writing off and on since I was a kid, but it wasn't until I was laid off from a job I had almost 10 years ago that I tried to get anything published. Unfortunately, I didn't keep up the momentum when I decided to write a memoir. And, I realized that it's not just about writing it, it's about feeling all of it. Which turned out to be a little overwhelming. But, I'll be back! Thanks for stopping by!

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  2. I think you are off to a great start! Welcome to the crazy world of the A to Z Challenge!

    I think you are very brave to do Improv Comedy.:-)

    Stefani | Dreams of Nyssa

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    1. Thanks! I'm trying to treat it like I do the Improv-- just put it out there without worrying what the response will be. If it rocks, people will remember. If it flops, it's not as memorable. I also just read Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert-- great for perspective about your art!

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    2. That sounds like a book that I may have to read. Thanks for mentioning it. :-)

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  3. Improv Comedy!! wow that's exciting ... Good luck for the challenge

    Visiting from A to Z Challenge
    Pam's Unconventional Alliance Team
    A Whimsical Medley
    Twinkle Eyed Traveller

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  4. Welcome back! Just let it out is the best advice. It's the only way I was able to start a blog. I just had to realize that I was going to nitpick at every piece of writing I ever produced for the rest of my life and never be happy, so I might as well just put it out there. Wasn't easy at first, but I'm glad I did it.

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