Over a year. That's how long I've let this blog float in the cyberspace without an anchor of words. And that's what happens when you get out of practice writing your blog. You try to throw anchors into cyberspace. Surely that would cause some kind of malfunction. Who knows?
Adele's "Hello" is echoing through my mind as my 15-minute timer (the amount of time I've given myself to write this post) runs down. Like the song, I'm trying to make amends; I'm trying to decide how to explain my absence from someone I let down. Not the Blog itself. Not my reader (readers, if both my sister AND my mom had followed at some point). I must explain the absence to myself.
That's not so hard. I AM the Excuse Editor, after all. I always have a handy excuse for not following through on writing projects. Yes, I was (slowly) working on my book. Yes, in the midst of that, emotions, beliefs, and negative thoughts created the perfect storm of indecision and writer's block that all writing came to a standstill. The mess that storm created seemed to take a life of its own and I stepped away slowly, careful not to let myself get caught up in it. "Leave it alone," I thought, "It will work itself out somehow."
I didn't want to give up on my creativity altogether, though. While the writing part was off in rehab, I attempted another creative endeavor, one that scared me even more than writing: Improv comedy. I needed some lightness. I wanted to laugh. I wanted to learn how to make other people laugh.
As I started practicing for Improv, I realized other aspects of my creative life it could help with: Spontaneity and Lightness. One of my favorite writing quotes is "Don't think. Just write." Somehow, I forgot this advice. I started believing that whatever I got down on the page was solid and immovable, and if I put it down in the wrong place it would get in the way of something else, like a T-Rex statue in the middle of a busy intersection.
Improv reminded me to just let it out; don't edit yourself. You, the audience, and the world WILL MOVE ON no matter what craziness you just uttered. Don't take it all so seriously.
So, that's what I'm trying to do. My time was up a few minutes ago, and I'm going to post this without editing (GASP!). Because, on a whim yesterday, I decided to join the Blogging from A to Z Challenge after reading that my friend Nicole was doing it on her blog. Thanks, Nicole.
See you tomorrow.