Monday, October 3, 2016

Fall and new beginnings

First Monday in October

Starting over, again.

When I started this blog in 2009, it was part of an overall plan to help writers in order to help myself. Excuse Editor emerged from the idea that I wanted to write, but always came up with reasons--excuses-- why I could not write. Not right NOW. 

So, I wrote about reasons why right now WAS the time to write. I gave suggestions about setting up writing schedules, about sneaking your writing time in, about diving in without thinking about the end result, and about ways to free your mind. Sometimes, I even took my own advice. But, like an addict, I would return to the comfortable numbness of the excuses: I need to focus on my work. I have to make sure my house is in order. I deserve a vacation. Or two.

In between these relapses of Excuse Making, I continued to chip away at my work, mostly a memoir that I didn't think would open up so many raw feelings within me. After all, I was writing about stuff 20 and 30 years in the past. As far as rough childhoods go, mine was in the "fairly easy" category-- most of the time. At least that's what I had always focused on before. Of course, it was those daggers of painful times that took my breath away when I was writing. So I would stop. I let the newly opened scars heal a bit before I dove back in. It has been more like therapy than the few months I actually had therapy.

Because of this, along with a job that was getting more demanding and a drive to become involved in different hobbies (think organic body care and improv comedy), the other aspects of Excuse Editor got lost. My monthly newsletter dwindled to nothing. My list of markets basically went away. I know that a few readers miss this. I will not say it will return in the same way. I'm not in a position to make many promises to others right now, as I need to keep a promise I made to myself over a year ago when my dear friend Paula died. I need to keep writing. Eventually, I need to finish my book.

What happens to the memoir when it's done, I'm not sure. I may not be strong enough to market it. Or, I may find that strength in the editing phase. 

Whatever the case, I will find my daily writing habit again. I've already started with Morning Pages. Every morning for the past week I have started the day with a free write of 3 pages. The sense of calm this instills in me is similar to meditation. Those scribbles may or may not ever end up in any other work. It doesn't matter. It is setting my writing mind in motion. And that is why I'm writing again. 

Happy Writing!

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